May 2026: Am I Good Enough?

May is here. It has been hot for us. And we have some fun things to get through here.

Here’s the Agenda

1. The Complete Social Security Series
2. A Book That Will Make You Question the World

3. Words of Wisdom: Am I Good Enough?

The Social Security Series

Most of you probably already know about the bromance I have with Zacc.
It’s probably more one-sided where I think he’s super smart and I learn so much talking to him and then he is just nice to me and agrees to teach me things.

We set out to make a 4-part series on Social Security to help as many people facing that decision as possible.
I’m happy to say, we finished the 4th video and released it.

Here is the full series for you to watch as you please:

Episode 1: How Your SS is Calculated – And What You Can Do To Change It

Episode 2: The Menu – Personal, Spousal, Survivor, and More Benefits

Episode 3: The Break-Even Analysis – Straight Break Even vs Break Even With Growth

Episode 4: The REAL Break-Even Analysis – Real Life and Messy Circumstances

There is a lot in there, but hopefully it helps everyone get a super-solid idea of how Social Security works and how to plan around it.

But wait! There’s more! 

A bunch of questions and comments came from these and Zacc and I felt we should record one more video on the topic, so keep an eye out for bonus episode #5 coming in the next couple of weeks.

Stay tuned…

Book Recommendation

The Empire of Pain, Patrick Radden Keefe

Some of you may have been directly affected by this story.
The Empire of Pain goes through the details of the Opioid epidemic. In all the details.

Being in the industry I’m in, it takes quite a bit to surprise me when it comes to what levels people will go to for a dollar.
This book was unbelievable, and caused me to question how I viewed the healthcare system.

There are so many well-meaning professionals in the healthcare sector – across all of the industries.
But there are also sharks and wolves who are able to influence and persuade many well-meaning people to do bad things.

They turned this book into a series on Hulu called “Dopesick.”
Some pretty big actors are in it like Michael Keaton, Will Poulter, Rosario Dawson, Phillipa Soo and others.

I prefer books though 🙂

Both go through the formulation, marketing tactics, bribes, and the legal/financial ramifications put on the Sackler family after the truth came out.

Unbelievable story.

Get it Here

Words of Wisdom – Am I Good Enough?

“I’m not good enough.

Nobody likes me.

They are going to make fun of me.

I’m just not good and I don’t want to do it anymore.”

My heart was broken as my little 7-year-old girl said this through tears and short breaths as she tried to control her emotions.

I was sitting next to her on our school park swings, both of us rocking back and forth, me trying to talk her out of these thoughts.

I need to take you back in time to before these words were said out loud to give you context around this expression of frustration.

If this were a movie, pretend everything goes in reverse, and we just went back in time – well before her meltdown on the swings.

My Youngest

Allow me to introduce you to – and brag a little bit about – our youngest.
She has always lived up to the stereotype of “the youngest.”

She’s sassy. She gets away with more than any of the other kids because she’s little and cute. She’s determined. She’s wonderful.
Here is her picture.
You can see it in her eyes.
She knows that she has daddy wrapped around her little finger.

My kids are interesting.
My oldest has tried a million different activities, but hasn’t found anything that she loves quite yet.

My middle boy is obsessed with sports – especially basketball.

My youngest… she has found gymnastics.

Gymnastics

I need to share some of this information to drive home the ultimate lesson I learned from this little 7-year-old firecracker.

Her love of gymnastics started as a little tumbling class for 5-year-olds.
But… she kept getting better and better at it.

Her gymnastics studio kept telling us, “Uh… your daughter needs to be in this higher class. She’s really good.”

We know nothing about gymnastics and, frankly, I kind of think everyone is just telling us we’re good at things to get more of our money.
But watching her… she really is pretty impressive.

We didn’t know this at the time, but this gym isn’t just any ordinary gymnastics gym.
This gym has dozens upon dozens of former and current college gymnasts who came up through their program.
Their facility is awesome – if you’re into gymnastics.
Kind of looks like a lot of torture equipment if I were to try any of it.
We have since learned that this place is as good as it gets where we live – and they don’t let just anyone advance through their classes.

So when our youngest got invited to tryout for their comp teams, apparently that is a big deal.

She was excited. And nervous. And scared.

The Tryout

There were kids older, bigger, and stronger than her in the tryout, but she went through all the exercises.
I’m a biased parent, but she looked amazing and I couldn’t do any of the skills tests they did.

They sent us home, and let us know that we would receive the news the next week.

The next week came and my wife got the email.

Now, you kind of need to understand that the naming conventions for the different levels at this gym don’t make sense to me.
As you know, I’m pretty well-versed in Medicare and completely irrational naming conventions, so for me to say this has to mean something.

There is a group of competitive teams – The Gold, Silver, and Bronze Teams – and these comp teams are where she was invited for the tryout.

Then, there is a different set of traveling competitive teams – which they assign numbers going from 3-10.

This is based on levels and age.

But 3 isn’t for 3-year-olds.

To make matters more confusing, being on the Level 3 team is better than being on the Gold, Silver, or Bronze team.
The level 10 team is like… college gymnasts.

If you’re confused at this point… so am I!

But, back to the email… it said that our little girl had made the team!
Yay!

But… she didn’t make the Gold team.
She didn’t make the Silver team.
Nor the Bronze team.

They want her on the “Real” team.
Which, for her age, means the level 3 team – again… not for 3-year-olds (my wife keeps reminding me whenever I question what’s going on here).

The 3-Team
The 3-team comes with all kinds of additional practice time, better coaches, actual outfits, some travel, and competitions.

The gym reached out to my wife and said, “look, even though she’s only 7, she’s really good, and we know she tried out for the other teams, but if she wants it, we’d love to have her on this team.”

We told our little one.
She smiled. Got shy. And then, it looked like she was upset.

Her: Am I the only one who made that team?

Us: We don’t know sweetie, we just know you made this one.

Her: Will my friends be there?

Us: We don’t know sweetie… here is the letter.
Her: Did Avery make it?

Us: …

Maybe some of you remember what it was like reasoning with a 7-year-old.

Anyway, she wasn’t super pumped about accepting right away, so she said she wanted to think about it.
We had a week to decide.

And now… you are caught up on the swing conversation… happening the evening of the deadline to respond to the gym… where she says:

“I’m not good enough.

Nobody likes me.

They are going to make fun of me.

I’m just not good and I don’t want to do it anymore.”

Our Harshest Critics
I’ve known some people throughout my life who seemed to be overflowing with confidence.
You could ask them to try anything for the first time, and they were certain that they could do it.

Ever kicked a field goal before?

Nope. But I bet I could make that 50-yarder that a professional just missed.

Ever been ice-skating before?
Nope. But I bet I could do a backflip.

Ever done a backflip before?
Nope. But how hard can it be? Especially on skates!

Then, you have the Soderborgs.
Me, my wife, and all of my kids have this, “we’re never good enough” mindset that paralyzes us whenever someone tells us we accomplished something.
In a way, I think it has served us well. It drives us to always be learning, always trying to improve ourselves and our skillsets and our knowledge.

But at the same time, we have a perfectionist mindset that can let the perfect get in the way of the good.

Perfect isn’t real.

Good is.

And we tend to tie our self worth to what we feel we “should” be doing at a standard that nobody else sets upon us.

In the moment, I kept thinking, “How could she possibly feel this way?! She is incredible. She works so hard. She nails all of her little tricks and skills challenges. And yet… she doesn’t think she’s good enough.”

How sad. I wanted to cry for her.
Have I parented her the wrong way?

Is she just immature? A little 7-year-old girl just being irrational and seeking attention?

But then, as I lay down at night and review my own day… telling my wife that I don’t deserve her (and never will), a nightly routine I have, it hits me.
There are parts of me that are still a 7-year-old boy who is scared that he isn’t living up to someone else’s standard.

The Answers
I actually don’t have the answers.
If I did, I don’t think I’d be telling this story.
I don’t know how to get over these feelings and thoughts.
But what has helped… is being surrounded by people who see me much more like how I see my kids than how I see myself.
Friends, family, coworkers, YouTube viewers… share words of kindness and encouragement that often pull me out of ruts of inadequacy, and I’m forever grateful to them.

The Decision
We told her that we would agree to sign her up, but she can move out of that class anytime she wanted.
She wasn’t the most happy with this compromise, but she pouty-face agreed to it.

She went to her regularly-scheduled practice yesterday and learned that her best gymnastics buddy had also made level 3, so they could stay together through this.
Suddenly, she was all excited and super passionate about being on this team rather than declining.

See what I mean?
Friends are a big deal.

Your Challenge

This month, I want you to do two things.

First, give yourself a little grace.
If you are like me, or my daughter, and you find yourself beating yourself up for not being perfect, look for ways to catch yourself doing something right.
It is okay to admit you did something well.
It is okay to admit you are awesome from time to time.

Second challenge.
Be that friend.
Tell someone you care about how awesome they are.
But be specific.
Don’t say, “Hey, you’re awesome…. welp… see you later!”

Tell them something specific you admire about them.
If you know they struggle with a particular insecurity, maybe you can compliment them to make them feel more secure in that area.

I admire my little girl.
I admire that she’s able to do a round off back handspring to a backflip because I’ve never done any of those once in my life.

I admire her bravery to even start trying those kinds of tricks, and for getting back up every time she messed up, and for not being satisfied with only landing it once, but trying over and over and over again until she basically doesn’t know how to NOT land it perfectly each time.

I admire her for just… being her… and admitting when she’s scared.
I have a lot to learn from her.

Thank You
Thank you for being a part of my life.

Many of you have done for me exactly what I mentioned, and I appreciate it more than you know.
I hope you have a wonderful month, and I’ll see you in the next newsletter.

Erik

This is her serious face.
We were playing a card game and she was focused on her turn.
Love this little one.