February is the month of love… but you already got to read about my love story in the December Newsletter, so I’ll spare you the sappy love messages this month.
Here is the agenda:
- Podcasting Platforms
- Preparing for Tax Season
- Social Security Taxability Worksheet Updates
- A Book Recommendation
- Breaking My Daughter’s Heart
Podcasting Platforms
All of our videos were exclusively on YouTube for… about 3.5 years.
I had a lot of people asking if we could turn it into a podcast that would be available on things like Spotify and Apple Podcasts so… this past month, that’s exactly what I’ve been working on.
All of the Medicare-specific videos where I’m just talking away probably don’t make the best podcast episodes, so what I’ve done is put all of the interviews I’ve done with Financial Advisors and Jim Burch – the Estate Planning guy – as episodes of the podcast.
If you like listening while on the road or at work – rather than needing to pull up YouTube, you can listen on the major podcasting platforms.
Here is the link to Spotify: Spotify Retirement Nerds
Here is the link to Apple Podcasts: Apple Retirement Nerds
If you follow on those platforms, it’ll let you know when a new episode is released.
Speaking of new episodes…
Preparing for Tax Season
I was able to lure Zacc Call back onto the channel to go over taxes. He was able to answer several questions I had and make the whole, scary, tax system more simple and understandable.
If you haven’t seen that video already, you can watch it by clicking here, by clicking the picture below, or by going to the podcast 🙂
Social Security Taxability Worksheet
Many of you who are part of this newsletter have also downloaded the Social Security Taxability Worksheet that Zacc and his team put together.
If this is the case, you already got an email from me yesterday about the neat new updates they built into that spreadsheet to show which tax brackets you are in and how much room you have left before you reach the next bracket.
As is what seems to always be the case, as soon as I sent that email, someone found a bug.
So… here is the new, NEW and improved version with that bug fixed 🙂
2025 Social Security Taxability Worksheet Update
If your computer doesn’t let you download it through this link, let me know and I can send the file as an attachme
Book Recommendation
This month’s book recommendation is one that changed the way I look at life in general.
It was written in 2007, so it’s been a while, but what the author discusses is just as applicable today given what we’ve been through since 2007.
- The Great Recession of 2007-2009
- Covid-19
- Cryptocurrency booms and busts
- The War in Ukraine
- Donald Trump
This is not a political statement for or against.
I think we can all agree that the Trump presidencies have been quite unprecedented in terms of coverage and the polarizing feelings about it all.
The book looks at the impact of and preparation for Black Swan events.
Rare and unpredictable events with extreme impacts on the world.
It is not about how to predict the unpredictable.
It is about how to build resilience against extreme unpredictability.
I highly recommend this one.
I’m reading it for a second time at the moment.
Words of Wisdom
Breaking my Daughter’s Heart
For years, Caitlin (my wife) and I have argued over a very specific part of how we raise our children. She has wanted to hide the truth from our kids while I have wanted to spill the beans (I’m really bad with secrets).
My philosophy on what you’re about to read, as well as most things in general, is… “it’s better they learn it from us than from someone else.”
So… about 2 weeks before this past Christmas, Caitlin voted that it was my responsibility to talk to our then-11-year-old daughter about the truth of Christmas.
I want you to stop reading right now and make sure you don’t have any young children reading this over your shoulder. There are significant spoilers ahead.
Our Oldest
Noel, carries a lot of pressure.
She is the brave, fearless, older sister to her two younger siblings.
She is the cool, experienced friend to her younger siblings at school. She does a great job taking care of them and showing them the ropes as she learns and grows through life.
She is the best daughter and oldest child I could have ever asked for, and while she is turning into a teenager… and has her moments of drama… she is an absolute sweetheart who trusts her mom and dad implicitly.
So… telling her that we’ve kinda, sorta been lying to her for her entire life… felt like my fatherly responsibility, I guess. I voted that her mom gets to tackle other uncomfortable conversations instead of me.
With more detail than you need, but it’ll make it fun to understand how goofy I am…
The Setup
We moved into our house about 5 years ago. The previous owners of our house moved about a block away from us and we still get some of their mail from people and companies who don’t know they’ve moved. Christmas cards, marketing fliers, Medicare junk… stuff like that.
Well, me, being the generally awkward person I am, asked her to come on a drive with me to deliver our neighbor’s mail to them, “real quick.”
“Dad, it’s like… 2 minutes… why do you want me to come with you?”
“Because… uh… I might get lost and… uh… it’ll be easier for you to roll down your window and put it in their mailbox. Not safe for me to do that… just… just jump in the car… please.”
She reluctantly agrees and the drive begins.
The Drive
I wouldn’t describe my driving style as “slow.”
At the same time… we’re driving through the neighborhood, and safety is important.
Not to mention… I’m about to drop a truth bomb on my precious daughter.
So when she asks, “Dad… why are you driving so slow?”
You know that I’m barely crawling along the pavement in my truck, looking like a real dweeb.
I engage in Operation “Get Her To Bring Up Santa.”
Me: “Noel, how are you feeling about Christmas?”
Noel: “Good. Hehe.”
Me: “What are you hoping to get this year?”
Noel: “I dunno. Some skincare stuff would be nice.”
Me: “Is everything okay? I noticed you didn’t write Santa a letter this year.”
Noel: “Yeah, I just want to be more thoughtful about it this year. I still have a couple weeks.”
Now, if you are reading this with the thought of… “Erik… abort mission… ABORT MISSION! That is the worst set up sequence you could possibly construct, RIGHT before you are about to tell her Santa’s not real…”
You would be correct.
But, that’s just who I am.
Me: “Hey Noel, can I ask you who you think Santa is?”
Noel: “Um… what do you mean?”
Me: “I dunno… like… do you know his name?”
Noel: “Which one? Is it St. Nick? Or Kris Kringle?”
The Reveal
My attempt at getting her to bring it up failed miserably, so now it was time to just rip off the band-aid.
I let her know that I had something I wanted to talk to her about, and I’m not good at these kinds of conversations, but I love her and we can work through it.
I told her that one of the things that makes Santa, Santa… is the magic around him not being who anyone thinks he is.
It was at this point that she asked, “Is it you and mom?”
FINALLY! She got it! Goodness that was difficult…
That’s not what I said.
What I said was, “Noel, there is so much magic that is very real to you, your siblings, and us as your parents. And I’m about to tell you who Santa really is, but you’ve got to promise not to tell your siblings, yet.”
Noel: “I promise, dad.”
Me: “I mean it. You can’t drop this on them in a moment where you are frustrated or mad at them. You can’t use it to tease them or make them feel bad.”
Noel: “Got it. I promise.”
The moment of truth.
“Yes, your mom and I have been Santa for you the past 11 years.
Santa is a way for mom and I to stay your friend in a way that parents don’t always get to do. The letters, the cards, the presents, the elves on the shelf… all of this was a way for us to see our little girl express her feelings and see the magic in your eyes when you experienced Christmas. It’s a way for us to know true giving without getting praise in return, as the credit goes to someone else – Santa in this case.”
Then… I lost it.
The Tears
I’ve mentioned this before, but I NEVER used to cry.
Over the past 3 years or so, some sort of voodoo switch was flipped inside my brain, and now I cry at everything.
Speaking of… I was at a high school basketball game last night.
I know some of the kids on both teams from our neighborhood and it was a big rivalry game.
One of the kids on the team I was secretly cheering for hit a HUGE shot in overtime. He’s a tall, skinny kid with fiery red hair.
The bench went nuts, the crowd went nuts, the student section was jumping all over the place, and I saw a bunch of the players on the bench and parents in the crowd all turn to the same spot and point up to the top of the bleachers.
I turned my head and saw a gal with fiery red hair, who I conclude is his mom, recording the game up at the top of the bleachers, just screaming her lungs out with tears in her eyes, cheering on her son.
There must be some story there… and I couldn’t help myself. My eyes started leaking and I had to come up with some allergy excuse to my son and people sitting next to me as to why I’m crying at a high school basketball game that no one in my family is even playing in.
Most of you know my mom passed away a year ago.
From 5 years old to 18, she was that same mom, recording every game and screaming her lungs out if I did something good – or if the refs weren’t calling fouls on the other team…
It was super weird how all those years of seeing that sort of transformed this kid’s mom into my mom’s face and it was… overwhelming to say the least.
So anyway… I tell Noel that I’m really going to miss being her Santa friend. She is a sweetheart and I love her. Lots of words start pouring out through tears.
Noel happens to be a sympathetic crier, so because I’m crying, she starts crying.
We’ve already delivered the mail to the neighbor at this point, and I’m just driving around through random neighborhoods trying to compose myself. She reaches over and holds my hand and there’s this tender moment where a grown man and his little girl are just crying their eyes out in a car together.
The Aftermath
I eventually composed myself long enough to start laying out the logistical issues that are now a part of her life moving forward.
I let her know that she has just become a Santa Clause, joining her parents and her grandparents as magical messengers of happiness. I let her know that we will need her help, not only with her siblings, but with cousins, friends, and the world as we try to bring a little cheer to others without seeking credit or recognition.
She was all in, and she was a great help with the elves on the shelf and playing the part of surprised kid on Christmas Day as she opened her presents and watched her younger siblings open their presents from Santa. She went Christmas shopping with me and helped me pick out those presents her siblings were opening and we shared a couple knowing glances back and forth as she saw the joy her efforts brought.
Back to the drive, as is the case with an inquisitive mind like hers… she asks, “So if you and mom are Santa… and the elves on the shelf… what about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Leprachauns?”
“No. Those are all totally real.”
I’m kidding.
While I was at it, I figured why not just destroy everything she holds dear by letting her know that those were all opportunities for us as parents to engage in the same behaviors as Santa, just all throughout the year, rather than just Christmas.
The Point
I don’t know if we’ve done this the right way or the wrong way. Keeping this kind of information back for almost 12 years seemed like we rode that a little too long. She did admit that earlier that year one of her friends told her that Santa was her parents, so I think she’d kinda, sorta suspected something for a while. There is so much parenting advice out there and I think we’re all doing our best to figure this out as we go.
What it did cause me to reflect on is the idea that sometimes there are people in our lives who are doing things behind the scenes for our benefit, that we know nothing about. They may be right in front of our eyes, but we don’t see it, and don’t understand it.
There are people who know more than we do and who aren’t telling us everything quite yet, because it may not be the right time for us to know certain things.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, because I want to know everything all at once, but to properly understand a topic, you need a base of information to build off of, and without that base, too much knowledge can cause more serious problems.
Medicare happens to be one of those topics.
It is a complex mess and, if someone just goes searching down a deep, dark rabbit hole of Medicare conspiracies, it’ll lead to a pretty bad case of sadness, anger, and distrust. There is more going on than the click-bait headlines, which is what we’re trying to help unravel.
Maybe you are currently holding back some information from a loved one to protect them.
Maybe someone you love is holding back some information from you.
Hopefully… when the time is right to know what we ultimately need to know… we’ll be ready for it, and have the same reaction as my little girl when she was able to reach over, grab my hand, tell me it’s okay, and we can cry a little together.
I appreciate you and I hope you have a wonderful February!
Until next month 🙂
Erik
PS – If you like these little family stories and want to check out our family’s shenanigans on that trip we did across the US… you can find those videos here:
The Soda Family Channel
Editing travel videos is a whole different beast than Medicare videos… so we have posted through Day 23 of 44 with more coming 🙂
